A couple of years ago, my husband and I had a very large and beautiful willow tree suddenly fall in our front yard.  At first, I was devastated because I loved that tree and I so enjoyed gazing upon its beauty every morning when I woke up. When my husband began cutting the tree up, he noticed that the core of the tree was filled with disease. I immediately heard Holy Spirit say to me, "See, even though it was so beautiful on the outside, inside it was broken." Wow! That was me when I was flowing in shame and pain!  On the outside, I looked great but, on the inside, I was a broken and shame-filled mess.  All that stuffing and burying my emotions and then moving on quickly, believing I had dealt with my pain when in fact, I only buried it, had taken quite a toll on my heart and soul. That is what shame and hidden painful wounds can do to our insides when left unchecked and not properly dealt with.  From that place of brokenness or shall I say broken-mess I was making terrible choices for myself which didn’t just impact my life but so many others around me as well.
In my quest for complete inner healing I have discovered that Holy Spirit, Jesus and God love me so much that they too did not want me to remain in my brokenness so lovingly and patiently brought me face to face with my inner broken-mess, so they could not only establish truth within my spirit, soul and body, but place me on a new pathway leading to ultimate freedom in Christ. 
I had to first become aware; not only of their infinite and non-judgmental, grace-filled love, but the necessity and importance of loving myself enough to open up and believe I not only am worthy of this form of love, but deserve it as well.
As Jesus healed and mended the broken places within me, my perspectives of myself changed and therefore my perspectives of God, Jesus and Holy Spirit changed.  As this inner transformation took place, I was able to begin seeing myself from Gods perspective, not my own and not mans. I was able to begin welcoming His truth and allowed this amazing form of love to retrieve the pain, and then trust as He released His healing truth within the areas now ready to welcome and receive it.  I had to first become aware before God could set things in motion that would bring about the transformation process of my mind, spirit and soul.
Through this transformational inner healing journey, Holy Spirit continues to remind me that Awareness leads to wholeness so to this day, I pray for my heavenly counselors to bless me with spiritual wisdom so I can remain aware of any hidden sadness, regret, judgement, pain, anger, fear, neglect or unforgiveness left in my heart still lurking inside, knowing that when it is brought to the light, healing is there waiting to be grabbed a hold of and taken in. 
I personally would not change a thing about this time in my cocoon; churning and turning things upside down and inside out within me in order to get to those ugly seeds and roots where shame and pain were birthed.  
I am grateful for that time because it resulted in discovering the true Agape love of Jesus which led me out of darkness and into wholeness. I discovered that He has always loved me even in my ugliness because He never saw the ugliness, because He cannot recognize something within us that is not within Him. I hope you got that. Jesus mirrors back to His Father perfection because His Father is perfect and if God created us in His image than He sees us perfect too. If we mirror back brokenness, then our eyes are not set on God but instead on the brokenness of whomever we have made God. 
Genesis 1:27 So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. 
It was that type of spiritual wisdom from The Father’s heart that produced transformation within me because it shifted my internal lenses and I suddenly became aware of my inner beauty as seen from the eyes of my loving heavenly Father and no longer from my brokenness.  Things came into focus and for the first time, I was able to see myself as His handiwork, His princess instead of someone who had let Him down, is sinful and dirty. From there, I understood the importance of showing grace to myself by loving myself regardless of my past mistakes and thereby opened myself up even more to learning how to partner with His truth, grace and mercy; see it as love even though at times it hurt going deep, trust for a change knowing that His love is perfect and fear had to be a thing of the past, not the present.  


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